Category: Cows

Herd Immunity

472
472

I was reading an article on the CNBC website where Dr. Fauci said: “If the U.S. allowed the coronavirus to spread unchecked in an attempt to try to achieve so-called herd immunity, the death toll would be enormous.”

This didn’t sound particularly good to me and I wondered how other residents felt about this. I found a herd and asked ten locals for their opinions. The first eight thought it was a ridiculous idea.

The ninth had a terrible cough and the others kept their social distance. After a few minutes this one, possibly the leader of the pack stood and stared at me. Her neighbor kept hitting her in the face with her tail to help get the flies off.

After a brief staring contest (which I won) I asked: “Well what do you think?” She thought about the question for a second and was about to answer when she got hit in the face again. Then she said: “Just shoot me now.” So I did.

Don’t Have a Cow

636
636

“If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.” Dalai Lama XIV

When Cows Attack

Locals
Locals

I was reading the N.Y Post yesterday and saw an article about a cow attack. It said a highly aggressive bovine wreaked havoc in the German state of Bavaria after escaping from a farm.

The runaway cow attacked its owner, smashed a greenhouse and damaged a patrol car. She also caused a lengthy police chase until she was finally shot with a tranquilizer dart and brought home.

Since I literally live in cow town I took a ride this morning to see some cows and learn their ways. They seem friendly enough and usually come up to see what I want and probably wonder why I’m taking their picture.

But if you look at them carefully you can almost sense a darker side to these placid creatures. This one slowly walked up to me and gave me a look, a look that said in New York speak: “What the F*** are you lookin at?”

Maybe number 26 always looks like this, and maybe her two friends were not her muscle but just normal cows trying to kill the day. I wasn’t about to find out though and left for McDonald’s where I ordered two hamburgers and a milkshake.

Cow Farts and the End of the World

Presumed Innocent
Presumed Innocent

I read an article about cow farts in our local newspaper the other day and decided to do some research. The Salt Lake Tribune said: “Greenhouse gas emissions are on the rise, global warming is becoming a bigger threat, and cow farts are partly to blame.

Methane from cows is a big contributor to the greenhouse effect, trapping thirty times more heat than carbon dioxide. To put the toxicity of methane in perspective, you would have to sit and idle your car for 21.3 hours a day in order to produce the same amount of gas as one cow does per day.”

Josh Goldman of Australis Aquaculture said that one alternative is to feed the cows a certain type of seaweed. He claims: “If you could feed all the cows this seaweed, it would be the equivalent of taking all these cars off the road.”

Note: whether cows actually fart and whether or not as one website put it, cow farts matter and could destroy the world, think carefully before sitting in your car with the engine running for 21.3 hours. I had a neighbor who did that once and it did not end well.

Abstractions

Heads or Tails
Heads or Tails

“Life is filled with abstractions, and the only way to make heads or tails of it is going through intuition.” David Lynch: Director, writer and producer of the greatest movie ever made-Eraserhead