Dissociative Identity Disorder

Written by Mike Ross
Alpaca?
Alpaca?

A couple of weeks ago my friend Alena pointed out that what I thought were Alpacas were really Llamas and vice versa. I’m sure she meant well, but I was worried that if I was wrong about this maybe I was wrong about everything.

I forgot about it for a while until this afternoon when I stopped to visit some old friends. There he was, Big Al, staring me down with bright red eyes and a look that told me I was going insane.

Something snapped inside what was left of my mind and I began to lose touch with reality. I started to wonder if I was a man dreaming that I was an Alpaca or an Alpaca dreaming that I was a man.

When I got home and looked in the mirror I saw that my ears looked different and there was hair growing out of them. I was also noticeably uncomfortable wearing sneakers and had a strange craving for a bowl of grass.

The way I see it I have several choices, one is to go back to the funny farm but last time I gained ten pounds and they have limited smoke breaks. Another is shock treatment, which I think I can do at home with a car battery.

The third is to resume therapy, but my therapist is a goat and I think he may be biased. Or I can simply stop photographing animals and shoot trains, which are relatively safe unless they run you over which rarely happens.

I’ve never read The Metamorphosis by Kafka but found this quote which says it all: “I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.” Thanks Alena.

24 thoughts on “Dissociative Identity Disorder”

  3. Damn, Mike! I realized that now I understand you a bit better. Because some time ago I possibly could thought that you were serious writing this! Though, some parts are too unreal but you know… I talked to one guy on the internet. I thought he was joking because I couldn’t believe he believes everything he wrote. But finally I got that he was just very-very ill schizophrenic. Though it didn’t stop me in communicating with him anyway.
    By the way, I think Kafka was serious! That’s why he scares me.

    Nice alpaca by the way! As for me, he looks not friendly too and his sight fucking scares me!

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